Prone to wander

My visit to the Sistine Chapel was nothing as I expected.  I'll admit that I was clueless to the details of this particular chapel, but having traveled to many chapels and museums in Europe, I had somewhat of a vague expectation.  Walk into a big space with tall ceilings, feel small, gaze at old oil paintings, stare up in awe, open the door and go back outside.  

For starters, we were slowly led through a labyrinth of rooms and hallways full of beautiful art pieces.  I thought we'd never get to the chapel.  In fact, I had expected the chapel to stand alone.  To be outside one second, and inside the chapel the next.  My anticipation grew, and I began to ignore the paintings in each room and follow the current towards what I inevitably came to see.  Finally we were ushered into a small room.  Okay, maybe not small, but no where near the size that I expected the Sistine Chapel to be.  

Of course the murals were beautiful, but the famous work by Michaelango is not what struck me most about the space.   As we stood crammed into the chapel filled with people, about every 10 to 15 minutes, the guards would yell at us to be quiet.  The first second, we'd abruptly stop talking, but then the sound of chatter would crescendo to what sounded like a loud roar.  It did not take long for the volume to fill the small space.  Then out of nowhere, completely forgetting the guards command, we'd be startled into silence by the guards.  Over and over and over, this continued.  

Just like the ebb and flow of our uncontrolled voices, there's an ebb and flow, a push and pull, to our hearts with God.  One second we long to be with Him, to read His word, to pray, to be consumed with anything and everything about Him.  Then, slowly we begin to flow away.  Usually we don't even notice.  Things are good.  We thrive in our self-sufficiency and busy, distracted lifestyles.  Our need for God grows dim.  We get comfortable and complacent, filling the margins of our lives with everything but the Lord.  

Unfortunately, or maybe it's God's grace, we're jolted back into the reality of our spiritual state.  Just like the guards loud cry in the Sistine Chapel, something in life wakes us up, and our need for intimacy with God is great.  Maybe it's a relationship problem, the loss of a job, lack of finances, some greater need that our self sufficiency cannot quench.  Our spiritual poverty inevitably calls for us to pause and seek.  

It is WE who move away.  Over and over and over again.  God does not move.  We do.  God is constant, arms wide open, always inviting, always near.  It is in our human nature to wax and wane from Him.  My favorite hymn is "Come Thou Fount" because of these famous lines:

"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, oh take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above"

 The most extravagant thing about God's love is that He does not bind us to him in the sense that we have no choice but to stay with Him.  He's a God that gives us the choice, the free will, to stand where we want.  And His love is so forgiving and merciful, that He repeatedly  welcomes us back when we wander.   

God, help us be vigilant in abiding in you.  To be ever dependent on you.  To be wary and observant if we start to drift.  And give us the passion and desire to stay near.