Give mercy. Who me?

On Tuesday I had to sit down and haggle on Live Chat with Airbnb to try and get a full refund for our New York City Airbnb rental.  I think it's fair to say that it might not only be unsafe to travel to the big apple right now, but most tourists places will still be closed by June 1st.  We were guaranteed a 50% refund, but I was banking on 100% given the 'extenuating circumstances' of COVID19.  

Let me back track to earlier in the day.  I was upset with someone because I had STRONG reason to believe that they had lied to me.  I didn't have full proof, but my hunch was overwhelmingly strong. Like 99% strong. I was wrestling on how to handle the situation...do I pressure for the truth?  Do I administer justice?  And what do I do with this anger inside of me?  I felt for sure that I needed to bring it into the light, set my boundaries, pour my emotions out, and not let it go until the truth surfaced and justice was given.   

Back to the Airbnb.  Live Chat said I'd have to jump through hoops to get my full refund.  They wanted documentation from the state government or the airline on why we could not go.  Because things were changing weekly with COVID19 and because we had until May 17th to get a partial refund, I didn't know what June 1st would hold. 

Then I got mad.

Mad at myself because if I had sought God prior to buying plane tickets and paying for half of the price of the apartment, He could have told me "No, don't go," sparing me from having to sort this mess out.  "This," I told myself "is why I am so slow to make decisions.  So that I can wait and hear from God in order to avoid messes when I make wrong decisions."  Frurstrated, I said a quick prayer for help to sort this out. 

Then, all of a sudden, Airbnb said I could simply attest in an online statement why we couldn't go, and that they would give us the entire refund!  That simple.  So I wrote a sentence and had my bank account fully refunded within an hour, to my dismay.  Airnbnb rocks, I thought. 

With that issue solved.  I let my thoughts fester back to 'the liar'.  I really hate lies, even though I'm not always innocent.  Because I was almost absolutely sure of my defense but still lacked proof, I began to pray.  (Duh!  Why do I wait so long to pray?) And I really expected God to show me how to get the truth revealed and how to set boundaries.  Ha ha. 

Almost immediately, I heard God say, "Lauren, you were just in a mess with your refund.  That could've lasted days, and you could have been required to jump through some big hoops, or you could've lost a lot of money, but by my grace and mercy, I made it easy.  You got your full refund, almost immediately."  This made me think of the parable about the king in Matthew 18 who forgave his servant his debt, yet the servant turned around and harshly forced someone else that owed him to pay up.  

Wow.  In awe and gratefulness, it lifted all anger off of me that I had been harboring towards the one who I thought wronged me. It made me want to move in mercy and forgiveness towards them.  It felt so freeing to taste God's mercy and grace, so much so that I wanted to extend that same grace. How amazing was God to lovingly show me where I was in error?

I recently read the following words about grace from Mark Gregston in his book, Tough Guys and Drama Queens, that grace for him is "moving relationally toward a person when they have wronged you.  It's opening the door of your heart when every part of you wants to shut it off."  

There are so many times that people will harm us, and we may never see justice this side of heaven, but guess what?  God is our vindicator!  By handing it over to God, He handles it all, removing us from having to get justice.  Now don't get me wrong, there are certainly times when God will tell us to set boundaries and such, but I'm mainly talking about the heart here.  Our heart gets freed when we practice grace and mercy and let God do the vindicating.  

It all reminds me of sin.  How instantly God forgives and removes sin by his grace and mercy.  I don't deserve it, but he does it.  He can make it easy.  How much more should we forgive and move forward without shaming those who have sinned?  Oh Lord, help me to be like you!  Thanks for your infinite mercy and grace!